All the single ladies?!


Lately I come across post on Facebook that are literally desperately screaming “help I’m single and need a man”.

Number 1. Being single is not, I repeat  is not a disease!

Number 2. No man is going to want a desperate woman and if he does he’s probably himself not ready to be in a relationship.

Number 3. Have some self-respect!

We live in an era where we are jumping from relationship to relationship with each one failing just as badly as the last one or even worse, you throw kids in the mix and its a recipe for disaster.

I became a mother and wife at a very young age, since then it’s all I can identify with. After 12 years in a marriage today I find myself with out a spouse (I do not consider myself single, hello i have kids!). It’s been a few months and honestly being in a new relationship has not crossed my mind. I know for certain that at this moment in my life I have nothing to give to no one except myself. I owe it to myself to:

Number 1. Take some time to heal inside and out.

Number 2. Help myself grow mentally and spiritually.

Number 3. Live each day a day at a time learning what make’s ME happy.

Number 4. Enjoy the journey and embrace the ups and downs.

Number 5. Discover new things about me I never knew.

When it’s supposed to happen it will. For now I am the ONE!

One Comment Add yours

  1. deansacked says:

    You’ve made some uncommon and I think important observations about how women are socialized in our society. “Single Ladies” is such a catchy tune, and so many folks, feminists included, looked at it as this powerful anthem for women. But I’ve always been uncomfortable with the underlying theme; that a woman should identify herself as something to be obtained, an “it,” and that marriage is this holy grail, that “it” and a “ring” are the final destination. I think that ideal is a huge problem for woman. Not only is marriage a woman’s path to legitimacy, but her sexuality, “it” is a resource for her to hold onto and use as a sort of social currency, a prize rather than something she can enjoy in and of itself (like men are allowed to do). She has to hold onto “it,” protect “it” and only give “it” up for commitment, because that’s the only way she can make it in the world, attaching herself to a mate.
    Granted, women still only make .80 of a dollar for the same work men do, and woman still have to fight for the right to manage their own bodies, but I don’t think embracing womanhood and sexuality as a currency is a solution.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s