I thought of you yesterday

To my dismay and with tears in my eyes

You watched me die inside

A botched heart

A clumsy start

Instead of helping me, you gave me the bullets and gun

Watched me pull the trigger

Offered no compassion

Turned away and left me in the dark

Alone and afraid

I couldn’t stop the nightmare

I cried out in agony

In despair

but you refused to hear me

Instead you ridiculed me

Taunted me

Left me in the dust

Left me to pick up all the pieces

Far from home

Far from myself

You offered no safe space or place

Just hate from the guy who once said “he didn’t know he could feel some things twice”

What a beautiful disaster

The son of a pastor

In awe of you

I once saw the sun in you

Face to face with the death of I

Face to face with your karma

It’s a a long road up ahead