I knelt down on the pillars of this churchThis time it was different 

The first time I entered these doors was with an uncle

I remember as clear as day how overwhelmingly beautiful it was to me

It’s where I was introduced to God 

Baptized as a child, held over this holy water as it poured over my forehead 

It’s where I knelt next to my brother, Holy Communion third of seven sacraments received 

8th grade graduation prayer service 

Watched my aunt walked down the aisle

Watched the kids in my family be baptized 

Countless Sunday’s 

Countless Ash Wednesday’s 

Countless Easter Sunday’s 

Down the street, to the left down this alley that led to my grandmothers home

Across the street a park. 

My Home.

Where I met brothers and sisters for a life time. 

There sat a pool, I learned to swim in

Where I would go late at night, with no fear as a little girl and try to fly high in the sky on the swings. 

In this playground where I had my first kiss.

Summer camp.

Park kid.

Lock ins.

Dances.

All the sports you can name.

Walking through the field one day some of us sang “I’ll be missing you” by Puff daddy and Faith Evans

Standing in this burial watching your casket lower, never would I have imagined that same song playing.

Never in my life had I seen so many grown men cry

I watched afar at your funeral as many greeted you in your casket 

But not I.

I could only hear your voice and laughter

As my knees touched these pillars in this church, where we prayed for your soul, my heart broke into pieces. 

Never had I imagined, we’d be in this place for the loss of a loved one.